Week 8

Fitzhead – Away

I was unable to travel to Fitzhead on Saturday, which was a great disappointment to me, as I have happy memories of playing cricket there. However, this was more than compensated for as I played a game on a ground steeped in history about the game I adore.

I say I have happy memories of playing at Fitzhead as Over Stowey are usually on the wrong side of a good thumping when we play on their ground, but Stowey can take a few crumbs of comforts in previous fixtures at Fitzhead.

And when I say a few, I probably mean one, when we beat them while defending only 98. Yes a barmy sunny Saturday afternoon sometime in the 1990’s we actually won away at Fitzhead, and I think there was a blue moon that evening. Joking apart, the home side seemed pretty confident on the verge of cockiness that afternoon, especially as they were only chasing 99 to win and even more especially when they were 60-1.

Half the team was changed as they thought the top three or four batsmen would close out the game. We took a couple of quick wickets and at 73-3 the home side was still favourites. However the number five batsman, who was half changed, had to hurriedly get back in his whites then put his pads on to get on to the pitch and to bat.

Needless to say he didn’t last long, nor did the next and the next, all of which were in civvies expecting victory and had to get changed in a hurry. To say there was mass panic in the Fitzhead ranks was an understatement and Stowey eventually bowled them out for 88, ten runs short and what a victory. Serves them right and boy did we celebrate!

Another occasion I was late turning up at Fitzhead, Stowey was batting and in deep trouble. 52-5 and I was next in. I got changed into my whites, put the pads on, and as soon as I sat down the sixth wicket fell, so in I went, with their opening bowler looking menacingly at me thinking I was a walking wicket – which to be fair he would be right, but not on this occasion.

I managed to bat for 25 overs, scoring a rapid 14 - which included one six back over their opening bowler’s head, using Rocket’s bat and I told him after how to use it. Yes 14 of 25 overs, which included a 22 partnership with Steve Darch in 18 of those overs. Did the Fitzhead bowling figures look good, yes they most certainly did.

Well we did set a target of 92 and this time Fitzhead made no mistake in knocking off the runs in some 16 overs.

Ok, back to Saturday, from what I can understand from dispatches Over Stowey 2^nd XI winning streak off one came to an end on Saturday when they succumbed to a one man team, allegedly a first team regular playing in Division Five of the West Somerset League. Cannot really comment as I wasn’t there, but I do remember Fitzhead a couple of seasons ago questioning our integrity when we cancelled a home fixture because of rain. Hmmm..... me thinks a lot here about their integrity, but I am only thinking of course!

Back to where I was on Saturday, well I was paying homage to the “Cradle of Cricket” at Hambledon in Hampshire. Not only did I pay homage, I actually played on their pitch. And not only did I play I took a couple of wickets – is a comeback on I hear you ask?

In about 1750 the Men of Hambledon set up the first proper cricket club and after 20 years of its foundation the Hambledon Club became the leading cricket authority. In the 16 years from 1770 it transformed what had been a casual country pastime into a fully fledged national sport, much as we know today.

The pub opposite, the Bat and Ball Inn, served as the pavilion and clubhouse, with the legendary Richard Nyren as the landlord. The Men of Hambledon would meet there and during this time major cricket developments were agreed and new laws recorded in the minutes of the Hambledon Club. In its heyday, the Hambledon Club beat the rest of England a number of times. The foundation of the Marylebone Cricket Club (MCC) in 1787 marked the end of the Hambledon Club as an influence and 1792 the last match was played there for some 116 years.

The club, apparently, had a famous round of six toasts:

6. The Queen's mother

5. Her (His) Majesty the Queen (King)

4. The Hambledon Club

3. Cricket

2. The Immortal Memory of Madge

1. The President. 

Contemplating to bring it into Over Stowey CC at the Annual Awards night, but who is Madge? Well I know, tells you something about 18^th Century Britain me thinks. 

So yes, an emotional day, however no Thatchers, just Pimms and Lemonade instead, I think I was feeling alright. Think I may have a Thatchers now though.

Week 7

Lydeard St Lawrence – Home

Victory, yes victory for the 2^nd team with an emphatic seven wicket win, it was so comprehensive, everyone was wondering what to do, especially as it finished much earlier than usual.

So where do we start, a combination of tight bowling and fielding, forced the visitors in to some rash strokes, thus giving their wickets away. Plus, as umpire this was the first time this season I have had to give someone out, in fact I gave two LBW’s. Well if they are on the back foot, ball pitching and hitting in line of middle, they were not difficult decisions. Everyone who had a bowl got a wicket, even Greg Arlotte with is very, very slow off spin; deceived in the flight no doubt.

As for the run chase, skipper Carl got Stowey off to a flyer, calming nerves in the home dressing room, and if it wasn’t for a huge six at the end, I think extras would off top scored! As umpire I am there to over see the rules and the game is played within the spirit of cricket. I had a few mumbles that I turned down a couple of LBW decisions, but when I explained why I just hope they understand.

Stowey are now off the bottom of the league, thanks to this victory, over-taking Lydeard. I will say the visitors played the game in the right spirit, with lots of encouragement to their young contingent, a bit like most sides in Division Five.

Now, I think I have an obsession with the weather; I now even listen to the Shipping Forecast on Radio 4 long wave. Ok, it was at 5.45pm and Test Match Special was on, and they had to go to Shipping Forecast just when Matt Prior was scoring his 50. Where exactly are Dogger and German Bite?

With all the modern technology about nowadays, buying a car with a digital radio now means listening to Test Match Special is no longer a burden. The first couple of cars I bought the first thing I would look at would be the radio, if it didn’t have long wave, I wouldn’t buy it. I left some sellers a bit bemused, when I explained that the only way I could pick up TMS was on 198 long wave, the penny dropped, well I think it did!

With a hectic weekend of cricket now over, Somerset winning on both Friday and Sunday in the T20, England playing Sri Lanka in the first Test and off course Stowey 2^nd XI winning, it is pleasant to have a relaxing week without any cricket, but will be keeping a close eye on the scores from around the country.

However, the second most important thing which happened over the past seven days was Somerset going op of the County Championship, thanks to victory over Sussex. Alfonso Thomas took four wickets in four balls which helped a bit I think. Come on Somerset, make me cash in my betting slip!

Ok, that’s it for now; short a sweet, still in a state of shock that the 2^nd XI won on Saturday.

Week 6

Crowcombe III – Away

Never happened, rain overnight (so I was told), and heavy rain in the morning meant the cancellation of this fixture.

The Countryfile weather forecast for the weekend was spot on – changeable. Even the Springwatch forecast was the same; I suppose they are both supplied by the Met Office. It was so changeable the 1^st XI game was at home to Sampford Arundel was played in brilliant sunshine!

So the second XI have now officially played six games, three of which have been rained off, and the other three have a “L” in the results column. It was jokingly said that at the moment the seconds are getting more points for a rained off game than they do if they play.

So as it stands Over Stowey II’s are currently the strongest side in the whole league, making the game against Lydeard St Lawrence a massive game in the context of Division Five. One team is going to break their duck for the season and record their first win. Come on Stowey.

The blooming rain prevented Somerset recording a victory away to “Lucky” Lancashire. Third in the County Championship with a game in hand over Middlesex; just Yorkshire poking their noses in front at this stage of the season. But why can’t the mighty Set win a T20 game? Glamorgan scraped a narrow win on Friday and with Hampshire visiting the County Ground on Friday, that is now a must win game. But first a County Championship game against Sussex.

With rain coming down like steroids for most of the week my attention was drawn to the dismissal of Jos Buttler on Tuesday, in the One Day International against Sri Lanka. I was lucky to see the wicket fall, let alone any of the match thanks to the Council shutting the lane to where I live. I know it says road closed, but the lane is two miles long, so where exactly is it closed, and what access do I have to my property. A seven mile trip to go 400 yards, I despair! And do the Council reply to my emails, do the heck!

Anyway, rant over, Jos Buttler’s dismissal. He was given run out backing-up. As a qualified umpire (level 2) I first thought that Jos was not out as the Sri Lankan bowler, Senanayake, was in his delivery (if you can call it that, how bent is his arm?) stride. When the umpire gave him out I was a bit bemused and it left me scrambling for my Tom Smith’s book of umpiring – a seven mile trip.

Firstly, the bowler doesn’t have to give a warning; he can just run out the batsman if he is out of his ground backing-up. The confusion stems from the fact that the ICC playing conditions – effectively the rules under which international cricket takes place – differ from the Laws of the game as prescribed by the MCC, the ones which I have learnt.

The MCC (Law 42.15) states that “The bowler is permitted, before entering his delivery stride, to attempt to run out the non-striker.” But the ICC’s playing regulation 42.11, which replaces Law 42.15 in international cricket, states: “The bowler is permitted, before releasing the ball and provided he has not completed his usual delivery swing, to attempt to run out the non-striker.” Effectively Buttler was out, which, for me is a bit sloppy, as he had been warned and should have done something about it.

I have been involved in a similar incident some 20 years ago, when I ran out the non-striker for backing up. It was in a six-a-side tournament held in Cannington, playing against Cannington. I had noticed before I was due to bowl that a particular batsman was backing up so far down the track, in some cases about five yards that something had to be done.

When I came on to bowl my attentions were going to be ethical and warn him. However, when I bowled my first ball I deceived the striker with quality off-break, all he could do was defend it. He then made an attempt to pick up the ball and throw it back to me, when the non-striker shouted “run”, they both ran and completed a run, which to me was against the spirit of the game and then all my ethics went out of the window.

Next ball, as I started my run up, I noticed that the non-striker was already backing-up out of the popping crease; I ran in and just took off the bails. By this time the non-striker was some way down the pitch, I gave an appeal, the umpire, from Kilve, asked if the appeal was genuine, I replied in the affirmative and he gave the batsman out.

What happened next, well a lot of finger pointing, disputing, bat slinging, but I stood my ground, trying to explain that it’s in the rules, I don’t have to give a warning and I would have done, but for what happened the delivery before. The good thing about it was that my team completely backed me up, thankfully.

The guy was fuming, he eventually left the field of play and the game resumed. I believe he slung his bat from about 20 yards into the pavilion, and smashing noises were heard.  The player wouldn’t let it go, and when I was fielding on the boundary he sounded me out, came over and started “going on one” at me. Basically, I told him to get over it and check the rules. He has never spoken to me since. That incident is still spoken about to this day.

Right, time for a cider in the garden, or is it raining, oh well Thatchers on the sofa me thinks.

Week 5

Stoke St Mary II – Home

Well, it was official, before the start of play on Saturday Over Stowey 2^nd XI had moved off the bottom of the West Somerset League Division Five. Thank you rain! The bottom side was then Lydeard St Lawrence 2^nd XI, who, for some reason, had played one game less. Oh, and I promised I would mention Greg Arlotte in the first paragraph, so here you go Greg……. Greg Arlotte!

For those who watched Countryfile last Sunday you knew the forecast was going to be a lot better for the weekend, and yes Ellie was on, but no Helen. Apparently viewing figures of Countryfile have rocketed by at least 20 viewers thanks to, well you guessed it, yours truly.

Now then, a game of cricket I can officially umpire, and with no rain forecast, what could possibly go wrong. Ok, I had a barbecue the night before, where apple juice of the alcoholic kind was involved, thank you Thatchers,  so I turned up to the game on Saturday not that alert. Well it was the re-arranged barbecue from my birthday, so do you blame me?

So here is my match report from Saturday:

·         Over Stowey won the toss and elected to field. It looked like a good decision, wet wicket and all that nonsense.

·         Lee Rich broke down in his second over – do you blame him, the stance Stoke’s opening batsman took, made me as an umpire wonder WTF?

·         Greg Arlotte took his place and subsequently took a wicket with the first ball he bowled. Would like to say it pitched and turned, but it pitched and good as rolled along the ground and took the base of middle stump. Not quite a no ball, but it wasn’t the best shot I seen play.

·         Julian Pocock bowled his left arm over’s, and boy can he appeal. Can’t wait until the Ancient Mariner opens Julian, not far to walk! No while I am mentioning about Julian, Saturday was his first game of the season, and he had a bit of trouble with his kit. In fact it has been attacked by mice during the winter months. He now has an air conditioned jumper and pads!

·         The mighty seconds held a few catches, Adrian held one, only because it was of his son’s bowling never does it for anyone else.

·         Stoke scored 132-9, yes nine wickets for Stowey. Lee taking four of them, jug avoidance Lee me thinks.

·         Stowey batting – Quote: “Don’t do anything to rash, there’s plenty of time!” First ball nearly a run out, and everyone tried to hit the slowest of slow off-spinner for six, but instead they got either bowled or caught!

·         Skipper Carl, swept like a pro. He would sweep a four, the fielder would move, and subsequently sweep another four to where the fielder moved from.

·         Stowey finished 50 runs light – oh well, getting closer to a win!

·         I turned down two LBW appeals, one stumping appeal and a run out appeal. Definitely not out as the batsmen were from Stowey! Plus they were not out anyway!

·         Next week Crowcombe III away.

Now the mighty twos are still next to bottom in the league, mainly because the website hadn’t been updated. Did I tell you that Division Five is the bottom division of the West Somerset League, so being bottom is a very privileged position to be in? Not many sides will manage to achieve this throughout the season, so hey, what a side Carl has.

The mighty Somerset drew against Warwickshire in the week, thanks to the rain and managed to pick up some bonus points; however, thanks to the rain, Middlesex didn’t even manage to bowl a ball against Sussex, so the advantage they have over the might Set is shortening.

Don’t forget Somerset fans across the world they Cidermen still have a game in hand. Come on the Set, just get that T20 winning mentality back, my trip to Barbados depends on it!

Now it is time sit in the sun, in the back garden, supping Thatchers cider and listen to music! Countryfile at 7pm, Ellie, Helen etc.... Then Wednesday night, Stowey take on the Swan Inn - watch out Les Biffen!

Week 4

Hemyock – Home

What a week of cricket I have just had, some highs, and some lows and some rain! I must admit the Countryfile forecast was spot on a the previous Sunday, they said the weather will be changeable, and they couldn’t accurately forecast the end of the week, so they left it as changeable – now surely any forecaster can do that, but who am I to criticise Countryfile? 

Right, back to the highs, lows etc….. 

The highs:

• I had cricket nearly every day of the week last week.
• Somerset hammered County Champions Durham in the County Championship, lifting them to second in the Division One, with a game in hand.
• Marcus Trescothick smashed a ton in the second inning to lead the way to victory by seven wickets – despite a first baller in the first inning.

The lows:

• Somerset losing to Kent in the T20, in fact they got smashed. Well I had a few ciders to soften the blow somewhat.
• More corruption in cricket
• England all out for 99 – see above – just saying, did anyone check the colour of the batting handles when England batted? Or is it every time Ravi Bopara plays you know England are going to lose.

The rain:

• Which meant: no play fro the mighty Over Stowey 2^nd XI against Hemyock.
• Which also meant: I didn’t have to do any umpiring for the 2^nd XI again.

So four weeks of the cricket season has now passed, and I have yet to do any Saturday cricket umpiring, two games because of the rain, and the other two games I was away. Anyway, I watched Countryfile again last night, for the forecast of course, nothing to do with Ellie, and by the end of the week it is going to be “scorchio!” So Stoke St Mary, who are the visitors to Over Stowey on Saturday, you will be my first victims of the 2014 campaign.

I have now put all the fixtures in my diary for the rest of Over Stowey’s campaign, and I am gutted. There are three weekends I am unavailable, and out of the three, two games I am absolutely gutted about, Crowcombe away and Fitzhead away. Two nice away trips, two clubs’s who play the game in the right spirit, and two cracking pubs to go back after the game. Oh well, at least I have Brompton Ralph away to look forward too.

Ok, time for a Thatchers or two I think.

Week 3

Kilve – Away

Countryfile on Sunday evening is a must see programme, nothing to do with Helen Skelton, Julia Bradbury or Ellie Harrison (but they do help), it is about the weekly weather forecast at about 45 minutes in to the programme.

Why is this significant, especially in the summer? Well isn’t it obvious, it gives you an early, and accurate, indication of the likely weather for the end of the week and the weekend. In other words will the weather be ok for cricket?

This particular broadcast certainly took my eye, again nothing to do with Helen...etc. but to do with the expected heat wave coming across the country from Thursday onwards, and hopefully staying put for at least the next four months.

So as the week goes on, the forecasters gave a more accurate forecast and it looked good for Saturday, in fact the whole weekend. Good news for Stowey and Somerset.

So then a decision had to be made by myself, whether to do the trip to Kilve with the 2^nd XI, umpire part of the game and then bugger off to watch the FA Cup Final, or forget the final completely as I have a hunch that Arsenal will muck it up again and umpire the whole Kilve v Stowey game or just embrace the whole FA Cup ritual, watch FA Cup Mastermind, It’s a Knockout etc. Decisions, decisions, hmm, what to do?

The only thing nagging me was that we are over half way through May and I haven’t done a bit of umpiring so far this season. I have promised both 2^nd XI Skipper Carl and Under 15’s manager Tina I would be available to help, but so far have done absolutely nothing.

Carl even sent me a text to remind me, but to be fair he did subtly mentioned football in the text. I think I did reply, but I did have my nose stuck in the Umpire’s Bible, my new edition of Tom Smith’s. Need to be reminded in the rules now and again - I think counting to six is the hardest thing!

Cricket began in earnest on Friday, Somerset played Gloucestershire away at Bristol in their first T20 game and won. Stowey Under 11’s played North Curry away. Both of which I was unable to attend, as I went to a party on Friday somewhere in South Gloucestershire. Stowey 1^st XI were at home against Bagborough, and the 2^nd XI played Kilve away on the Saturday. And on Sunday the under 15’s were at home as well as Somerset where Surrey (Batty, Smith etc) were the visitors.

Ok, mind made up, FA Cup final on Saturday (might watch the 1^st XI for a bit), umpire the Under 15’s on Sunday and then a trip to Taunton for T20 cricket. Oh how I love the sunshine, cider and cricket. I did contemplate going to Kilve, hoping that Stowey would be batting first and thus the game could be over by kick-off. So I could still do a bit of umpiring, watch the FA Cup Final and have all day Sunday to do umpiring and watch Somerset. In other words I still hadn’t made up my mind.

So what happened was.....

Saturday:

·         Went to watch FA Cup Final Question of Sport – wasn’t on, and nor was the overhead helicopter which would normally film the teams leaving their hotel going to Wembley via the team coach .

·         Went to Stogursey May Fair – not much there.

·         Went to watch the 1^st XI for a while– not much going on there either.

·         Watched the FA Cup Final – I wished I was at Kilve, especially after the first 10 minutes.

·         Drank cider before, during and after the cup final. 

Sunday:

·         As this is about the 2^nd XI Grand Tour of the West Somerset Cricket League I was trying to find out what happened, well as Carl summed it up as an ‘unmitigated disaster’ and was somewhat reluctant to talk about it.

·         Umpired the Under 15’s – well some of it anyway

·         Went to watch Somerset – Jade Denbach is a bigger idiot than last time I wrote about him. One thing for sure he is just a bog standard County bowler and will never make the grade at International level. 

Eventually I found out what happened to the super two’s, they got hammered, Kilve batted first and hit 212-7, Stowey replied with 73 all out. Carl said that he had planned to bat first if he won the toss, and what happened, he won the toss and put Kilve in to bat. Last time he is going to do that.

However he did go on to say that the youngsters done well, Stephen Miller and Lee Rich taking five wickets between them. Apparently Stephen is a bit worried that when he bats he is turning in to a Mark Sortwell; can you bat like a snail instead, that is much faster.

Something really annoying also happened over the week; I missed an Over Stowey friendly against a Les Biffen XI on the Wednesday evening. A clue was ll the cars in the ground as I drove passed that evening, me think it was the youth playing a cup game.

So when I consulted the fixture card, which I designed and should of know there was a friendly going on, I found to my annoyance that it was the Les Biffen match, a match which usually involves cider before, during and after the game... drat and double drat!

Anyway, as a footnote, while watching Somerset in a recent home game against Nottinghamshire, I was sat with Simon Pickard and Mark Sortwell. We were talking all things cricket and we started to compare the Somerset skipper, Marcus Trescothick, with Stowey’s influential batsman, Phil Rich. We came to this conclusion:

·         They both deal only in boundaries

·         They both are reluctant to run a second

·         They are both not the fastest between the wickets

·         They both field in the slips or close in on the square

·         They are both very knowledgeable about the game

·         And they both like sausages

Oh, by the way, I missed Countryfile on Sunday, sorry Helen, Julia and Ellie, something to do with sun, cider and cricket!

Week 2

Milverton – Home

My first game of the season as umpire, how excited was I, having missed the previous week due to duck race commitments. And with great disappointment the game was called off at about 11am, after a horrendous down poor making the ground completely unplayable.

 

The text message from Carl meant I had to find something do Saturday afternoon, and by looking at social media a lot of games succumbed to the weather, so I couldn’t even find a game to watch or even help officiate. And to make things worse there isn’t any kid’s cricket on Sunday to officiate.

I suppose cancelling the game was no great surprise, but it gave me chance to reflect on some infamous cancellations Over Stowey have been involved in. A couple of games (or non games) spring to mind quite easily.

The penultimate match of the summer in 1998, and the 2^nd XI, under the captaincy of Mike Fowler, had a chance in winning Division Four of the West Somerset League. A win in this match, away to Corfe, would set thing up nicely for the final game of the season.

Corfe played their home games at Blackbrook in Taunton, and with the football season already in full swing the playing area had been transformed into football pitches and the cricket square had been completely immersed in the penalty area of one of the football pitches.

So the pitch was completely unplayable, with the council taking full blame from both sides, secretly Stowey were onto a winner as maximum points would be awarded to Stowey as Corfe couldn’t fulfil this fixture. The game was thus called off at about 3pm, so what to do for the afternoon, shopping in Taunton perhaps? Not on your nelly, straight down to nearest pub for a pint, perhaps two and then go back to Stowey.

Well two lead to another, then on to a different pub, then a couple more would be consumed, and before you knew it, it was about 5pm. Time to get back to Stowey, the only sensible people were the drivers, and arriving back the ground the 1^st XI game was still on, in which some barracking from us 2^nd XI players ensued. This did not go down to well, especially with the opposition, as Stowey ran out winners.

Back up the Social Club after more ale was consumed, and some players left early, couldn’t understand why, but they did.

Later that week, I found out that at least one player, who shall remain nameless, told his wife that they had played and won, in which she enquired in why his kit was still folded up neatly the way she packed it - now that is a bit embarrassing.

Another occasion was a 1^st XI match away at Stoodleigh. Now for those who do not know where Stoodleigh is, well it is near Tiverton, meaning a 60 minute drive to their ground. When we left Stowey it was sunny, by the time we arrived at Stoodleigh it was throwing it down, and the game was off. At least we didn’t have to put up with low-flying bi-planes that afternoon.

This was the era before mobile phones, so they couldn’t get hold of us to say don’t bother travelling as we had already left. How many pubs between Stoodleigh and Stowey if you go via Raleigh’s Cross,? Well quite a few and I think we tried nearly all of them out, even stopping at Stogumber CC and having a pint in their bar, which went down quite well. I believe we stayed in Carew Arms at Crowcombe for quite a period, even having a skittle, which was quite amusing to say the least.

 

So looks as if I have to wait until week three for my first umpiring duties of the season, and it is FA Cup Final day, I wonder if George Pike will be playing next Saturday?

Time for some Thatchers me thinks.....!